Summer Blues

It does not take much more than a cursory browse-around to notice that I haven’t posted in quite some time. Whilst this doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve busy, I’ve been pottering. The most dominant reason, is a lack of confidence, a growing impatience and some other things that are generally rather profound character flaws on my part.

The third draft of Long May Men Have Voices is finished, but my realisation that the story is yet incomplete as well as being jampacked with cliches that I just can not condone has somewhat stymied my drive and motivation of late. My muse has been on holiday and is reluctant to return to work, but she is on her way back, I think.

At this point, I want to make clear a few things about myself. I’m not the first to be their own worst critic, but my self-criticisms are often severe and, apparently, unfounded. I doubt my ability to write on a regular basis, but that is changing. More importantly, I have very real concerns about my ability to devise fresh concepts and develop real, 3-dimensional characters. It is the ideas that are most ruinous though, it takes me a very long time to find a story I want to tell.

For a while, Long May Men Have Voices was something wonderful that I was so proud to have finished. Whilst that hasn’t diminished, I’m riding myself very hard about the quality of that work with regards to the characters and some very obvious cliches. As a result, and after some severe damage to my confidence, that book has taken a back seat whilst I, reluctantly, try to find another story to write. On that front, I think I have had some success.

Long May Men Have Voices is not dead, but until I can find the motivation to re-write it, it’s on the shelf indefinitely. I do like this new idea, and I hope it settles.

This downtime has, however, allowed me to develop several new worlds for other projects down the line. I’ve produced several new maps, including a world map of Taldain which I am rather fond of. Aside from that, I’ve not been up to very much besides trying to write short stories and polishing Isle of Dogs for publication.

I’m also reading 5 books at the moment, which is unusual for me. I don’t tend to get past 2 at a time. For anyone who is interested, they are; Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan’s The Strain, Patrick Rothfuss’ The Wise Man’s Fear, Scott Lynch’s The Lies of Locke Lamora, Michael J. Sullivan’s Theft of Swords and Jacqueline Carey’s Banewreaker. 🙂 A rather varied bunch of fantasy, which ought to stimulate my inspiration, plus rather standard horror fare in The Strain for critzngigglez.

It has been a rough, rough time, in my imagination. I can only hope the end is in sight. I knew when I started out that writing a 500 page novel, or an 800 page novel would ultimately amount to little more than writing another several hundred pages afterward. It’s the satisfaction that drives me, and the hope that one day I can get my stories onto bookshelves around the world. That would be good, and so I keep pressing on, fighting through the stress. What more can I ask of myself?